How Couples are Coming to Terms with Quarantine

By Gabby Houck

Back in December, Hayley Stout and her boyfriend of over a year were roaming the streets of Amsterdam until three in the morning. Perfect strangers would see them on their strolls and admire how young and in love the couple was.

Now Stout, a junior at Penn State Abington, has not seen her boyfriend Zach for over three weeks because her mom is an ER nurse and his dad has underlying health conditions that put him at a heightened risk for coronavirus.

In case you’re living under a rock, our country — and the entire world — has been turned upside down by COVID-19. As of March 31, Pennsylvania alone had 4,843 cases across 60 counties, and worldwide there are more than 780,000 confirmed cases.

To stave off the spread, we have been mandated to socially distance ourselves through shelter in place orders — which means we can only leave the house for tasks deemed “essential.”

This obviously causes a dilemma for couples who don’t live with each other. Do you make the decision to hunker down together, or do you ride out the quarantine separately?

These are tough decisions to make for young adults who, just a few weeks ago, didn’t have a care in the world besides midterms and what their St. Patrick’s Day plans were. These decisions are forcing couples to get creative.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years, and our schedules didn’t allow us to see each other as often as we’d like. Now, we have all the time in the world and still can’t see each other. It’s like some sort of sick joke, and I can’t really grasp the punchline.

But we both know it’s what needs to happen, so we’re making the best of it, and other couples can, too.

We have virtual dates that consist of nightly FaceTime calls that I’ll actually wash my hair and fill in my eyebrows for, but I still do wear pajamas — don’t get that twisted.

We have Skype sessions where we watch movies and talk until both of us are about to fall asleep. We’ve even talked about playing drinking games and cards over the phone.

But my boyfriend and I were used to seeing each other infrequently, and naturally, other couples are having a tougher time adjusting to a virtual love life.

“Our love language is quality time. We’re big huggers and cuddlers. So, when we don’t have that option it’s just really hard,” Stout said.

While their preferred method of quality time is physical touch and being in each other's presence, Stout said she and her partner are trying out different methods of being with each other virtually.

“We’ve been trying to make up for it. We’ve been playing video games over FaceTime and we’ve been doing Netflix parties. And obviously, we’ve been using technology to do sexy time, which is just not the same, but we’re trying,” Stout said.

Other couples are also grappling with the transition from seeing each other so often to now being barred from hanging out.

Elizabeth Gallagher, a junior at Penn State University Park, was walking on the beach with her boyfriend three weeks ago. They were talking about celebrating her boyfriend’s graduation.

Now, the two regularly call and FaceTime to make up for the fact that the remainder of their last college semester together was taken from them.

“We had a lot of stuff we wanted to do, and now that’s not happening. But we are still grateful we got to do THON together and spend spring break with each other before all of this,” Gallagher said.

The one thing Gallagher misses the most is how much he’d make her laugh throughout the day, something that doesn’t happen now unless the pair is on FaceTime.

“Ethan makes me laugh a lot, and our thing was watching funny videos together. He still makes me laugh over FaceTime, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not the same,” Gallagher said.

For some couples, they’re leaning on each other now more than ever to get through this hard time.

REFINE’s very own features editor, Rebekah Harding, has gone back to work at her local grocery store to help financially support her boyfriend of four years.

“He just lost his job, so he’s been relying on my household for his basic needs and food and stuff like that,” Harding said.

Even though Harding is happy she can spend time with her boyfriend during this uneasy time, it hasn’t just been cuddling on the couch and watching Netflix. Just the other day, she had to help her boyfriend file for unemployment.

“You know, it's a weird feeling like having to take partial responsibility for my partner and I’m not even 20 years old,” Harding said. “Life just changed so fast and I feel like I’m watching my life speed up in front of me.”

But Harding and her partner are taking things in stride, and while this situation is not ideal she’s confident this will only make them stronger as a couple.

“I think it's important for us to experience these things, especially going into an adult relationship. Things are gonna change and the world’s circumstances are gonna come at you faster than you think,” Harding said. “This is a good opportunity for us, as a couple, to test the waters to make sure that this is what we really want and that we're compatible.”

All information about the Coronavirus in PA is current as of 3/31/2020.